Sunday, September 14, 2014

My Break Up Letter with WHEAT.

Dear Wheat,

It's you.  Not me.

I've known you and loved you my entire life, so this letter is not easy to write. 

Your offshoot, "gluten," is causing some mayhem.  If you come back to us in your proper form, dear wheat, I may be willing to give our relationship another try.

When I was sad, you were there to pick me up in the form of delicious, delicious pizza.  When I was too tired to cook something, you came to the rescue every time.  So much so, that  you became EVERYTHING I ate!  Little did I know you offered yourself in Soy Sauce, Salad Dressings, store bought soup, Marinades and pretty much ALL restaurant food.

What Wheat SHOULD Look Like...
Wheat, you presented me my first unhealthy relationship.  You and I used to hang out all the time with processed sugar.  Remember those days?  We'd smile together and ride swing sets as I would eat an after school cookie.  Come to find out, it was YOU who raised my blood sugar higher than the sugar from the cookie.  You are too powerful, wheat.

After finding out that your pure form of actual WHEAT is no longer grown the way my ancestors
grew it, I became a little curious.  And THEN I found out that bread made with you involved and sent out to millions of good people just like me is not
being processed the same as in the old days. I tried to hang in there, because I really did count you as a friend and didn't want to hurt your feelings.
On the left is Real Wheat, on the right is "Dwarf" Wheat

Another big shocker came to me.  You are a serious acid that forces the tipping of our bodies' pH balance to a much more acidic state.  This means that you literally suck the calcium clean up out of our bones and help our joints hurt more than normal and at younger ages and differing weight classes.  YOU are a strong cause of acid reflux, not just spicy foods like jalapenos. 

Elephants are adorable. But we are humans.

You keep us in your control, wheat.  You keep us feeling bloated, tired and feeling like it's impossible to lose weight. 

And these are only a few of the reasons, my sweet wheat, why I gotta take the high road and take my love of self with me.  It's over.  I'm not into controlling or abusive relationships.  In fact, when I first left you almost two weeks ago, I had crazy withdrawals.  True story.  I felt like something was literally MISSING from my life and I was intensely sad then angry and didn't sleep very well. 

So not only are you controlling, abusive, a stalker since you are EVERYWHERE I turn, but you are also dangerously addictive.

No thanks, pal!

It was good while it lasted. 

I am sad to question if I will ever eat a burrito again because of you.

Have a lovely life.

Michelle Tomlinson

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