Monday, April 15, 2013

CANCEROUS FREAK OUTS, GRATITUDE, FAITH AND THE JOURNEY

First off, I want to start this post with a GIGANTIC THANK YOU.  I am still blown away by the hundreds, upon hundreds of Emails, Voice Mails, Texts, FB Posts, Comments, FB emails and Twitter replies, Blog Reads and Comments, reach outs, check ins, good wishes, prayers, ALL OF IT.   I can literally feel every single one of you, touching my soul with your kindness.  And I've never needed the support more than ever!

This has been the most bizzaro journey I've ever been on.  It's also been the most empowering, faith challenging and strengthening journey.

For the most part, I am living in the light and feeling positive about rocking this out.

Yesterday, my hubby and I blasted through the Farmer's Market, gathering 9000 veggies and fruits that are high alkaline.  Through friends and research, I have discovered cancer can't survive in an alkaline environment.  So be it, I say,  Alkaline away!

Then to the book shop to look at some books people have referred me to reading.  We sat in the health aisle for a good hour, pouring over every book about cancer we could find.  Including Gerson, Louise Hay and several other alternative books about self healing.  After thumbing through all of these, we discovered I am on the right track, and I'm sticking to my pre-surgery plan.

My Plan:

1. Keep going to the Yoga Shelter
2. Juicing
3. Alkaline Diet
4. Acupuncture
5. Reiki
6. Therapy
6. Hiking

I added the hiking. ;)

But seriously, most of the books we looked at referenced how healing Yoga is for us and the magic of Reiki.

I never knew Reiki could be so powerful, and I admit I've always been a bit of a skeptic.  I met this amazing New Mexican girl at the Shelter with whom I'd spoken several times.  She overheard me telling our instructor what was going on and offered her services.

On Saturday, she and two of her Reiki colleagues were doing their thing on and around my body.  One of the girls was working directly on my thyroid.  I started to feel my thyroid SIZZLE.  Like hot oil on a skillet, sizzle.  There was crazy heat going through my entire neck and it felt like it her hands were in the shape of a cone above my neck.  Turns out her hands were indeed in a cone shape and she literally was sizzling my thyroid.  Needless to say, I am no longer a skeptic and I can't wait to go back and do it again.  I had more sustained energy ALL WEEKEND than I've had in months.  So for you fellow skeptics out there, this is something worth checking out.  Not all people who claim to be Reiki healers are, I'm sure, but the ones who are--ARE.  I've never experienced anything like it.

Now to the great moment of freak out that was last night.

I was pouring over the Interweb for anything else I could be or should be doing that I've not yet discovered. I came across a blog that contained some of my worst nightmares.  A woman had every complication with the surgery to take her thyroid out, the doctor didn't get all the cancer, they were over iodine-ing her, she gained a zillion pounds, lost a ton of hair and they couldn't get her meds to match well with her chemistry.  Finally, she got on track... But WHAAAAAAAAAT???  That blog plus other stuff I found like since I'm under the age of 40, I could be or might not be cancer free for ten years after this hoo hah and might be faced with cancer again, blah blah blah.

I had an epic meltdown.  GONE were all the positive vibes, the intellect, the "I GOT THIS" attitude.  It flew out the window after 30 minutes of web time.

My hubby is a rockstar.  He reminded me of what MY doctor told ME--that my tumor (aka THE PAST, for those who know I named my "lump.") is 3 cm, which is less than 4.  He reminded me how relaxed and confident my surgeon was when we met and that this was going to be easy peasy for me to kick some ass.  He also reminded me of the great plan of alternative healing we're doing before the surgery in June. (Maybe I'll even be miraculously healed by then!)

And then:  He reminded me of all the stories I told him of the hundreds of people who've reached out during this time.  All of YOU.  Almost everyone knows someone who's been through exactly what I'm going through and has offered magnificent support and hope.  Then there were people who shared their own struggles with MAJOR cancer like lymphoma, and are here today to tell their own tale.

By this morning, I came back to my original higher ground of thinking.  I GOT THIS.  This is a huge blip of a moment, and like any other moment... It too shall pass.  I still choose to continue to see this as a blessing and a way to spread light not only to myself, but to others who may need it.

Humanity is such an inspiring race, the way we all band together and offer support to the people we know and to strangers. Keep spreading light.. Keep spreading light...

We got this.

Thank you.

Peace, Love and Light.

Michelle Tomlinson

The Taos Gorge... A deep and winding journey that leads to a blissful outcome.



15 comments:

  1. I can't wait until we say goodbye to the past in 2013.... I cannot wait.

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    1. You know I may need to check into the Reiki stuff too. I've read lots about it, and I know it can do good things, I just never thought about it for me. And ALL of my stuff... I may need to check around and see if I can find one!

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    2. Dione, you would TOTALLY benefit from Reiki!! Do check it out!

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  2. Speaking from personal experience, searching the web and reading stuff in forums can result in a ton of fear. Avoid at all costs! Fear is the enemy. Sounds like you have great information and a solid plan. Know you are already healed. YOU GOT THIS.

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    1. Yeppers, girlie, you know exactly what I'm talking about! THANK YOU.

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  3. I am so moved by your honesty and your desire to share it with all of us that care and love you. Thank you for keeping us all involved in your journey and giving us the opportunity to be here to support you through it. That being said, I have freaked myself out galore reading about conditions that "could be/happen." Your husband is awesome and such a blessing to be a rock there for you. Keep in mind that Reiki can also be done long distance if you have a Master that is strong enough. I've felt it from Phoenix and I'm with you, I was a skeptic at first but it really helped me.
    Keeping you in my prayers and lifting you up to be healed!
    <3

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    1. Thank you so much for reading these and for the support and prayers, Rachel. I love that you've had such an amazing Reikie experience! That's fantastic, it really is fascinating.

      And you are quite right about my hubby. Quite right, indeed.

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  4. I just read your post, Michelle, and it's really hard to contain my tears. What an emotional roller coaster your going through! And how difficult it is to not slide in the fear territory. I have to say that when it comes to feed our worst fears, the internet is the perfect place. You will always find the turn-wrong story. But you have so much courage, especially the courage to feel all range of human emotions, and the courage is a healing power.

    1 book that many people with cancer have found helpful is Anticancer, A New Way of Life by David Servan-Schreiber.

    Pierre, Cleo and I send you LOVE, LOVE and LOVE
    Aude

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    1. Love you, girl, thank you!! Not to mention I have the support of TWO families between all of you and all of mine... Thank you...

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  5. Yes, you 2 families now, and you can count on us. Just ask!

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  6. Thank you for keeping us informed. Don't search the web too much, there are tons of bullshit of every illness, still every person is unique. Keep on rockin' and having fun. Sending you love, light and healing power.

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  7. I found your blog on Thyroid Cancer Weekly. I was diagnosed with papillary carcinoma after a thyroid biopsy in Feb. I'm having a total thyroidectomy in 4 days. I am so scared, but it is good to know I'mnot alone.

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    1. Andrea, thank you so much for reading this and posting a comment. You are DEFINITELY not alone and I am so truly sorry you're going through this insanity as well. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sending you huge healing prayers. This too shall pass. For both of us.

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