CANCEROUS FREAK OUTS, GRATITUDE, FAITH AND THE JOURNEY

First off, I want to start this post with a GIGANTIC THANK YOU.  I am still blown away by the hundreds, upon hundreds of Emails, Voice Mails, Texts, FB Posts, Comments, FB emails and Twitter replies, Blog Reads and Comments, reach outs, check ins, good wishes, prayers, ALL OF IT.   I can literally feel every single one of you, touching my soul with your kindness.  And I've never needed the support more than ever!

This has been the most bizzaro journey I've ever been on.  It's also been the most empowering, faith challenging and strengthening journey.

For the most part, I am living in the light and feeling positive about rocking this out.

Yesterday, my hubby and I blasted through the Farmer's Market, gathering 9000 veggies and fruits that are high alkaline.  Through friends and research, I have discovered cancer can't survive in an alkaline environment.  So be it, I say,  Alkaline away!

Then to the book shop to look at some books people have referred me to reading.  We sat in the health aisle for a good hour, pouring over every book about cancer we could find.  Including Gerson, Louise Hay and several other alternative books about self healing.  After thumbing through all of these, we discovered I am on the right track, and I'm sticking to my pre-surgery plan.

My Plan:

1. Keep going to the Yoga Shelter
2. Juicing
3. Alkaline Diet
4. Acupuncture
5. Reiki
6. Therapy
6. Hiking

I added the hiking. ;)

But seriously, most of the books we looked at referenced how healing Yoga is for us and the magic of Reiki.

I never knew Reiki could be so powerful, and I admit I've always been a bit of a skeptic.  I met this amazing New Mexican girl at the Shelter with whom I'd spoken several times.  She overheard me telling our instructor what was going on and offered her services.

On Saturday, she and two of her Reiki colleagues were doing their thing on and around my body.  One of the girls was working directly on my thyroid.  I started to feel my thyroid SIZZLE.  Like hot oil on a skillet, sizzle.  There was crazy heat going through my entire neck and it felt like it her hands were in the shape of a cone above my neck.  Turns out her hands were indeed in a cone shape and she literally was sizzling my thyroid.  Needless to say, I am no longer a skeptic and I can't wait to go back and do it again.  I had more sustained energy ALL WEEKEND than I've had in months.  So for you fellow skeptics out there, this is something worth checking out.  Not all people who claim to be Reiki healers are, I'm sure, but the ones who are--ARE.  I've never experienced anything like it.

Now to the great moment of freak out that was last night.

I was pouring over the Interweb for anything else I could be or should be doing that I've not yet discovered. I came across a blog that contained some of my worst nightmares.  A woman had every complication with the surgery to take her thyroid out, the doctor didn't get all the cancer, they were over iodine-ing her, she gained a zillion pounds, lost a ton of hair and they couldn't get her meds to match well with her chemistry.  Finally, she got on track... But WHAAAAAAAAAT???  That blog plus other stuff I found like since I'm under the age of 40, I could be or might not be cancer free for ten years after this hoo hah and might be faced with cancer again, blah blah blah.

I had an epic meltdown.  GONE were all the positive vibes, the intellect, the "I GOT THIS" attitude.  It flew out the window after 30 minutes of web time.

My hubby is a rockstar.  He reminded me of what MY doctor told ME--that my tumor (aka THE PAST, for those who know I named my "lump.") is 3 cm, which is less than 4.  He reminded me how relaxed and confident my surgeon was when we met and that this was going to be easy peasy for me to kick some ass.  He also reminded me of the great plan of alternative healing we're doing before the surgery in June. (Maybe I'll even be miraculously healed by then!)

And then:  He reminded me of all the stories I told him of the hundreds of people who've reached out during this time.  All of YOU.  Almost everyone knows someone who's been through exactly what I'm going through and has offered magnificent support and hope.  Then there were people who shared their own struggles with MAJOR cancer like lymphoma, and are here today to tell their own tale.

By this morning, I came back to my original higher ground of thinking.  I GOT THIS.  This is a huge blip of a moment, and like any other moment... It too shall pass.  I still choose to continue to see this as a blessing and a way to spread light not only to myself, but to others who may need it.

Humanity is such an inspiring race, the way we all band together and offer support to the people we know and to strangers. Keep spreading light.. Keep spreading light...

We got this.

Thank you.

Peace, Love and Light.

Michelle Tomlinson

The Taos Gorge... A deep and winding journey that leads to a blissful outcome.