My bet is MOST of us have had the heart wrenching moment when we find out someone we love has passed on.
|Perfect characterization from the Internet!|
I was 13 years old when one of my best friends died a violent death. Who has coping skills at the age of 13?? Certainly not me. I learned right away that it was best to mourn silently and alone. I figured out how to 'stuff' my feelings. It was a defining moment that made me angry for many years and triggered a chain reaction of not good things.
|Thank You, Internet!|
It was almost a joke about how much death seemed to follow me around. By the time I was 25, I'd already been to five times the amount of funerals as weddings and started to get bajigged about getting close to people since everyone 'kept dying on me.'
|Thank You, Inernet!|
As time has marched on, I have naturally lost more people. One of which was a parent who was also one of my soul mates. That one hit the hardest and compounded the rest ten fold by taking my own breath away. I had this raw, insanely huge hole right in the middle of my very soul. A part of me had died as well and I had to stand as tall as possible during a very hellacious time. My little world crumbled and I could no longer stuff my feelings, mostly because the only thing I DID feel was numb. Numb and utterly alone.
Death is a part of life. I have spoken to many folks about how they've dealt with their losses and whilst we are all different, the pain of loss is the pain of loss. Some people believe they will see their loved ones again in Heaven, some believe their loved ones are gone forever with no chance of being reunited.
|Look carefully, there's a butterfly in the midst of|
I choose to believe those who are gone from this plane of life are only gone from physical sight. They are very much a part of us, every day. Our soul mates never leave us, not really. I will see them again. I choose hope.
After a tremendous amount of work and kindness to myself, I started to realize something amazing was happening. That large, insanely dark raw black hole in the middle of my soul wasn't as dark.
And as more time marched on, I started to finally see that flowers can bloom in what was once my dark black hole. It had been carefully patched over with some nutrient-rich soil and only the most precious seeds have been planted. There is scar tissue, of course, on my soul, but I choose to treat it with a loving embrace
But we can't forget to plant some flowers and embrace the life we still have within ourselves...